[announcer:] 
from southwest detroit  deep within some islandand's industrial 
waste depositories  itand's shaggyyyyyyyyyy tiiiiime! 
[shaggy 2 dope:] 
hey! how ya doin down there? iand've got mice here! 
alright! what up yand'all? welcome to the show 
iand'm shaggy  like you donand't fuckin know 
this is my sidekick  fat pat 
he goes andquot;ha ha ha haandquot;  and all a that (thatand's right!) 
anyhow  on my way here i almost died 
this bitch in front of me was like a hundred and five 
they worry about drunks, and late night truckers 
old ass bitches try to kill mutherfuckers (ha ha ha ha) 
this ladyand's got her left blinker on for an hour or more 
then she makes a right into my side door 
this comedy shitand's gettin old 
the game is to be sold, not to be told 
oh yeah, you can feel the excitment right? 
snoop dogg is with us tonight 
thatand's what iand'm sayin 
on the shaggy show, shit we ainand't playin 
and that ainand't it, also on the show 
another motherfucker that well, some of you know 
you see him with me a lot, heand's like a brother 
violent jand's in this motherfucker 
(i like that kid violent j) 
hey moe! (whatand's up?) 
how ya doin today? (just great shags!) 
thatand's great, now letand's give a hand 
to mickey clark and the gangsta fun band! 
weand'll be right back with violent j 
[announcer:] (playa hata:) 
do your homies have money? are you broke? (yeah.) 
do bitches look at you like some kind of joke? 
(straight up!) 
thereand's nothing you can do but get your phd. 
(playa hataand's degree?) thatand's right! 
(aw hell yeah!) 
player haters academy, located on wellfarm, in detroit 
offers the finest in player hation tactics. 
(yeah thatand's right!) such as the bitch hater: 
(hey man, fuck that fine ass bitch!) 
or the look shooker: 
(yo bitch i might be ugly, at least i ainand't got no money!) 
or the never ending shooting star: 
(just cuz he got a car he wanna be drivin that bitch!) 
get your phd and join a nation of player hation! 
(word up!) 
[shaggy 2 dope] 
ok, my first guest, heand's nutty as hell 
he just served a half a year in the county jail 
now heand's back, for now at least 
hey violent jand's in this bitch ass piece! 
[violent j] 
what up yand'all? (what up?) whatand's happenin? 
itand's been six months and my dick ainand't havin it 
if i donand't hurry up and get me some ass 
i might bust this nut on your tv glass! 
anyway, been workin on my brand new shit 
a brand new group with my homies twisted 
itand's called dark lotus, shit i play somethin for yand'all??? 
hell naw 
[shaggy 2 dope] 
now i been hearin a little of this and that 
about you havin some kind of a panic attack 
tell us, uh, is it true? 
and when you have one, what the fuck do you do? 
[violent j] 
well, iand'll be sittin there enjoyin a coffee 
and then all of a sudden, iand'm like get off me! 
then i start chokin off pedestrians 
until they give me my shot of calliphilestrian 
but thatand's all over now, itand's old hat 
iand'm a perfectly normal necrophiliac 
just donand't test me or pull strings, forget it 
i might grab your neck and do bad things with it! 
[shaggy 2 dope] 
well on that note, thank you j (sure) 
for real, whatand's up with poppin one of those soloquium pills? 
take your ass backstage and relax (iand'm straight) 
snoop dogg is comin up next! 
stay right here, weand'll be right back! 
[weird guy:] 
i like my chili hot. as a matter of fact i like my chili so god damn hot 
that you can cook a hogand's ass in a spoonful. 
when a workin man such as myself wants a little hot fixin, i reach for 
that bottle of mommaand's god damn hot chili. 
smooth tender chunks with chili beans filled with mommaand's hot bastard 
bacon bits, and drizzled with just the right amount of thick savory sauce, 
drippin with noodle nuggets and teaxs tough onions. 
mmmm mmmm thatand's hot, god damn hot. 
ask for it by name. 
[shaggy 2 dope] 
thanks fellas! alright yo, weand're back 
my next guest pioneered the sound in rap 
heand's come a long way from the lbc 
please welcome snoop d-o-double g! 
[snoop dogg] 
look up in the sky, itand's a bird itand's a plane 
itand's the big dog yand'all, fuckin with the insane 
clowns, get down nigga, i represent the town 
ay yo violent j letand's go half on this pound 
i stay gangsta like vaughn, i dropped a bomb 
they call me snoop dogg and i can raise your arm 
so any mc that disagree with me 
step up and watch your muthafuckin ass meet defeat 
[shaggy 2 dope] 
snoop? (what?) now you got platinum on your walls 
while other fools stare and, scratch their balls (what?) 
they wanna be like you, they wanna try to steal your flow 
now (what up?) yo, why is that so? 
[snoop dogg] 
itand's like everywhere i look, and everywhere i go 
some bitch ass nigga tryin to steal my flow 
but i donand't pay em no attention 
oh, should i mention? 
iand'm all about the money and ridin in cars with suspension 
bouncin, bankin up corners smokin dough 
smokin that weed, hangin out with my locs and folks 
donand't give a fuck about nothin at all 
thatand's why iand'm known to the world as big motherfuckin snoop dogg 
nigga 
[shaggy 2 dope] 
snoop dogg everybody! 
now we gotta bring a close to the party 
(already? what?) 
thanks violent j (sure) my loc 
and thanks snoop for that bag of smoke (get down) 
join us next time for the show 
weand'll have that one bitch from letters to cleo 
(granny!) thatand's it for now, iand'm out this bitch 
ay yo gangsta funk, show em how you got rich!