Mad professor 
andlt;dialogue between violent j and couch guyandgt; 
(violent j) 
i was never popular  this iand'll admit  fuck school never liked me  goo! 
all the kids would always beat me  until iand'm half dead 
make fun of the size of my forehead 
but that shit never bothered me  mama and mother 
they had a lot of property 
they had a science lab in the basement 
and thatand's where my free ti...well, my time was spent 
i made a mouse with a chicken head 
it clucked three times: cluck, cluck, cluck! 
and then it was dead 
i made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck 
gobblegobblegobble, it was the shit (yeah) 
but iand'm still lonely, i need a homie 
so i collected limbs and made a zombie 
i couldand've made a girlie friend 
but fuck that, i got my girlie right here...yeah! 
(chorus) 
you can call me mad professor 
i will make a friend for me 
you can call me mad professor 
we will rule eternity 
andlt;dialogue between violent j and a bitchandgt; 
(violent j) 
i used so many body parts it was crazy 
i killed a whole bunch of mother fuckers , like what, eighty? 
they all chipped in on my special friend 
everything helps, even if you got a finger to lend, come on 
i hear the other children playing outside 
andquot;keep it down you little bitches, iand'll skin your fucking hides!andquot; 
?stressful?, this part is wack 
some how i gots to attach this nut sack 
shit! fuck! iand'm sawing off an elbow 
looking at the meter iand'm like ?quasar and ziphalo? 
or better yet look out the fucking window 
i see a storms coming, almost time to roll 
screw the head on, come on, come on 
itand's the thuggish, ruggish, bone 
okay itand's time, hit the switch, turn it up a hert 
fuck! shit! didnand't work 
(chorus) 
andlt;dialogue between violent j and a wrecker servicemanandgt; 
It wasnand't always easy (hell no!) let me tell ya 
but fuck that, cause i ainand't no failure 
i put the shit with the ?things? and this with that 
wait a minute...(brrrt) did you hear that? 
itand's alive! i just gotta wake it up 
hand me that ?rocky rye? pour it in a cup 
it will do exactly...hold up, pause 
i ainand't cleaning his draws man, fuck that 
get him fat, get him ready, itand's almost time 
paint his ugly face up just like mine 
i see him twitching, iand'm on a roll 
he can help me tell the whole world about the carnival 
turn the hertz all the way up for this shit 
and just wait for that lightning bolt to hit 
did it work? you make the call 
shaggy? (what up, yand'all!) 
(chorus) 3x