A man sits down to write a letter,
but instead he writes a book
the book begins -
dear sir, i donand't if youand're interested
but youand're wife is a whore
A man gets on a train and proceeds
to take all his clothes off
he begins to play with himself, and he says
andquot;in my country, this is definitely not offensiveandquot;
A man pours petrol through his neighbourand's letterbox
and throws in a match
the house is engulfed in flames
as the neighbours jump from the upstairs window
he films the whole thing on video
he plays it back to them later in hospital
andquot;things have been pretty dull at home without youandquot; he says
A man pushes a lawn mower
two hundred miles on his knees
to the tomb of the unknown gardener
andquot;great oneandquot; he cries andquot;iand've done my penance.
i bring my offering.
grant me, grant me, grant me, pest-free rosesandquot;
Psycho street, friendly people down on psycho street
good neighbours down on psycho street
and if you need a hand, need a friend, we understand
and if you need a pal, weand'll be there, anyhow
psycho street, psycho street, psycho street
A man stakes his neighbourand's cat
to the barbecue and turns on the gas
andquot;now are you going to talkandquot; he says
andquot;or am i going to have to get nasty?andquot;
A man has an inflatable doll made
that looks exactly like his wife
he murders his wife, dissolves her body in acid
and marries the doll
three years later, he leaves her for another doll
A man hands his son a brick and says
andquot;son, throw this brick through the greenhouse next doorandquot;
the boy does
the boy next door throws one back
it hits the man on the head and mortally wounds him
andquot;ah wellandquot; he says, as his life blood trickles away
andquot;boys will be boysandquot;
A thoughtful woman sends her best friend a parcel
inside, it says, is a free sample, full body beauty treatment
but really it contains acids and chemicals
when her friend tries it, her hair falls out,
her face is wrinkled and her body scarred
the thoughtful woman turns to her husband and winks
and says andquot;pre-emptive strikeandquot;
Psycho street, friendly people down on psycho street
good neighbours down on psycho street
if you need a hand, need a friend, we understand
and if you need a pal, weand'll be there, anyhow
oh psycho street, psycho street, psycho street
psycho street, psycho street, psycho street
****************************
note:
the rumor and sigh album is complete. two other songs are on it...but have already been submitted.
1. read about love
2. i feel so good
3. i misunderstood
4. grey walls
5. you dream too much
6. why must i plead
7. 1952 vincent black lightning
8. backlash love affair
9. mystery wind
10. donand't sit on my jimmy shands
11. keep your distance
12. mother knows best
13. god loves a drunk
14. psycho street
