Ike:
looks to me like something funny
is going on around here
people laughinand' and'n dancinand' and'n payinand'
entirely too much for their beer
and they all think they are
clean outa-site
and theyand're ready to party
and'cause the sign outside says itand's
wet t-shirt nite
and'n they all crave some
hot delight
well the girls are excited
because in a minute
theyand're gonna get wet
and'n the boys are delighted
because all the titties
will get and'em upset
and'n they all think theyand're
reety-awright
and'n theyand're ready to boogie
and'cause the sign outside says itand's
wet t-shirt nite
and'n they all crave some
pink delight
when the water gets on and'em
their ninnies get rigid
and'n look pretty bold
itand's a common reaction
that makes an attraction
whenever itand's cold
and'n all of the fellas
they wish they could bite
on the cute little nuggets
the local girls are showinand' off tonite
you know i think it serves and'em right
you know i think it serves and'em right
you know i think it serves and'em right
you know i think it serves and'em right
and itand's
wet t-shirt time again
i know you want someone to show you some tit!
big ones!
wet ones!
big wet ones!
Buddy jones:
ah, thanks, ike . . .
yes, itand's wet t-shirt time again
here at the brasserie . . .
home of the tits . . . huh huh . . .
and itand's the charming mary from canoga park
up next in her bid for the semi-finals . . .
hi, mary . . . howya doinand'?
Mary:
hi!
Buddy jones:
where ya from?
Mary:
ah, the bus . . .
Buddy jones:
which one?
Mary:
you know . . . the last tour . . .
you know . . . leather
Buddy jones:
oh . . . you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on phydeaux iii . . . why donand't you get into position now and take a deep breath, because this water is very, very cold, but itand's goinand' to be so stimulating. and maryand's the kind of red-blooded american girl whoand'll do anything . . .
Mary:
anything . . .
Buddy jones:
i said anything . . . for fifty bucks
thatand's right!
Mary:
i really need the fifty bucks you know
i gotta get home!
Buddy jones:
yeh, i know, your father is waiting for you in the tool shed . . . thatand's right, you heard right . . . our big prize tonite is fifty american dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protruberances . . .
Mary:
here i am!
Buddy jones:
. . . as viewed through a thoroughly soaked, stupid looking white sort of male personand's conservative kind of middle-of-the-road cotton undergarment! whoopee! and here comes the water!
Mary:
eeek!
Buddy jones:
no, youand'd squeak more if the water got on you . . . sounds like you just got an ice pick in the forehead . . . and here comes the ice pick in the forehead . . . a million laughs, mary! anyway; good golly, what a mess . . . sheand's totally soaked . . .
Mary:
i love it . . .
Buddy jones:
yeah, totally committed to the fifty bucks . . . thatand's it just step into the spotlight . . . let the guys get a good look at ya, honey!
Mary:
here i am!
Buddy jones:
whaddya say, fellas?
nice setta jugs?
now mary, howand's about shakinand' it around a little . . .
oh my goodness, look at her go!
Mary:
oooh! iand'm dancing!
Buddy jones:
ainand't this what living is really all about!
hereand's your fifty bucks, mary . . .
Mary:
oh great! now i can go home!
Buddy jones:
home is where the heart is.
Mary:
on the bus.
